When was the last time you spent a whole day without worrying or feeling guilty?
This blog examines the third core concept of mindfulness, detachment. The first two concepts of mindfulness, living in the moment, and acknowledgement and acceptance, are examined in our previous blogs.
The second mindfulness concept of acknowledgement, acceptance and surrender is to prepare you for the third, becoming the detached observer of your events / emotions / life. This is about not over-associating with your thoughts and emotions. No drama queens here.
When you are not living in the moment, more often than not you are brooding about the past or the future. This can create drama in your life.
Mindful detachment gives you a way to reduce the drama and its associated stress. When your action is not required in order to improve a situation, mindful observation can often be the most productive way to deal with it.
Consider your situation as a scene from a movie, so that you can view it as not personally related to you. The circumstance will start to lose traction. Before you know it, you will have released yourself from a stressful situation and will be able to move freely in any direction you please.
In times of uncertainty and change, such ‘detachment movies’ can assist you in moving into unknown territory. Sudden change can be scary, especially if you lack the mental resources to maintain your senses.
By exposing yourself to challenge and adversity, and by familiarising yourself with the feeling of uncertainty, you strengthen your mind and develop the ability to detach from the inevitable chaos of life. You can’t know your true self unless you experience a challenge that tests your limits. Adversity builds resilience.
By practicing your detachment, you will gain the confidence of each new experience, helping you analyse your strengths and identify your weaknesses for continuing the journey. As you strengthen your mindset to look upon uncertainty as a challenge and not a threat, you will be able to move with greater flow and adaptability.
If you would like to know more on how to use mindfulness to manage your stress and build resilience, please contact me.
Yorkshire Courses for Lawyers (YCFL) delivers strategic coaching and training in leadership, management and interpersonal skills for the legal profession primarily based in Yorkshire. Since 2003, Ann has trained nearly 7,000 lawyers in leadership, management and interpersonal skills both in the UK and internationally. Ann has also trained with the Coaching Academy and holds a HNLP certificate in coaching as well as being an NLP master practitioner. She coaches lawyers on business skills, including stress management.
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